the birds & the bees

[natalie adams]

At what age do you tell your children about SEX? And what exactly do you tell them, depending on what age they are?

any ideas??

i have a 6 year old boy, & whilst i know he see's seen certain things on tv, he hasn't yet asked me. i can feel he sort of gets embarrassed, and it already feels like it's a bit of a taboo topic. And i don't want it to be that way.
i am waiting for the day when he is actually going to outright ask me what it's all about and i just want to be prepared.

i have been known for being quite upfront and honest with him about most things...but this one seems different & i want to make sure i tackle it the right way!

 

[mum_of_boys]

I think you answer their questions whatever the age just at a level suited to their development. 
My son asks THOSE questions regularly. One such conversation went like this...
Where do babies come from? Mum's tummy. 
How does the baby get there?  Mum and dad have a special cuddle.
How does the baby come out? The mum goes to the hospital and the doctor takes the baby out.
Where does it come out?  Where do you think it comes out from?
Mum's mouth?  No. It comes out from down there.
Where? Your Bum? Not really but close.
Can I see where?  No.
Oh. Ok.

So I guess I'm saying I think, if they ask questions, answer as honestly as you can at a level they can understand. You know your child.  If they don't ask but you know they are interested, maybe you could bring up the subject with a question of your own.  What do you think about that?  How do you think that happens?
Good Luck

[natalie adams]

thank you for that, i think you are right. i recently stumbled across a good book on the topic by Dr. Miriam Stoppard and she does the same thing - explains differently depending on the age of the child. i'll post some of the good questions and their answers soon (but right now i have to run and get to school!)
thanks again!!

[natalie adams]

okay so some answers i got from the book " Questions Children Ask" by Dr. Miriam Stoppard are as follows:

Q: What is sex?
A:
for ages 2-4 = it's a special sort of cuddling that mummies & daddies do to show they love each other
for ages 4-6 = it's one way that two grown ups who love each other, like mummy & daddy, can get as close as possible to cuddle & kiss in a special way, usually in bed. Sometimes a man & woman can start a baby when they have sex.
for ages 6-8 = it's one of the ways that two grown up people can show that they love each other. Sex is the time when they can make each other feel happy & wonderful. When we talk about sex in this way it is short for "sexual intercourse". There are lots of slang words for sex but they're not polite. During sexual intercourse a man's penis get's stiff and he puts it inside his partners vagina, which feels nice. Having sex can start a baby, but it usually doesn't because grown up's generally have sex as a way of showing how much they love each other, even when they are quite old.

HAHAHAHA gosh, is that not a bit too much to tell a 6 - 8 year old? what do you all think? i was a bit in shock after reading that one.

[mum_of_boys]

I couldn't imagine saying that! 6-8years old ever!

[mum_of_boys]

I got this one in my email today:


A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?'   

The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Your Mum and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.

Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mum and we met at a cyber-cafe.

We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall,

and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:


'You got Male!'

[tillys_mummy]

I cannot imagine saying ANYTHING like that to a 6-8 year old! OMG! I think these days its too common for kids to know everything WELL before they should. Keep it simple. Dont over explain things, or go into detail. 10-12 seems a better age to give that somewhat graphic response. Before that, I'd say answer them with as little detail as possible. Lets keep our kids innocent!

[mummy1987]

I think as children ask you would know depending on their age what would be suitable to tell them. What was said before about tellin a 6-8yo I think that would be more somethin to say to like a teenager!